“Spouse”: My Journey Through Love, Labels, and Expat Life
When Hendrie and I started dating, people warned me to “make sure he was going to marry me”, because apparently, no decent Igbo man would marry a woman who had “frolicked with an Oyinbo.” I laughed then. I laugh now.
From Bonny Island to Dubai, Cairo to the Netherlands, and back to Nigeria, my journey as an expat wife has been anything but ordinary. I’ve navigated infertility, long-distance love, passive-aggressive playdates, expired snack diplomacy, and that dreaded word, “spouse”.
Now, nearly 40, I’m done biting my tongue. No fake accent. No pretending. No apologizing for who I am.
Expat Life: From Childhood Curiosity to Adult Clarity
I watched the expat life first through childhood eyes, polished women throwing lavish parties, multilingual kids, and a lifestyle that felt beautifully out of reach. But as I grew older, I saw the cracks beneath the glamour. Affairs, loneliness, secret vasectomies, and the quiet desperation of trailing spouses began to surface. Expat life was beautiful, yes, but also chaotic, and sometimes painfully complicated. What I didn’t know then was how those early glimpses would help me navigate the journey when I eventually became an expat myself…
The Girl They Silenced, The Woman God Sent Back
At 13, I was called a husband-snatcher. But I was just a girl, tall, curious, full of life, trying to make sense of a world that misunderstood and mistreated me. The predators were protected, and I was punished. Years later, I returned to Bonny Island, not as the shamed teenager they once gossiped about, but as a healed, empowered woman with five children and a mission.
This is a story of enslavement and empowerment, shame and redemption. It’s about what happens when God sends you back, not to punish the past, but to reclaim it for His glory.
An Epic Family Adventure in Sri Lanka
Sri Lanka surprised me in the best ways. From the misty train rides through tea country to cooking with locals in a tiny village near Sigiriya, it was a journey full of warmth, discovery, and unexpected flavors. Traveling with five kids (and our Sri Lankan nanny who reunited with her family after two years!) made it even more special and sometimes an extreme sport. What I found most unforgettable wasn’t just the beauty of the landscapes or the spice-laden meals, but the kindness and hospitality of the people. Sri Lanka touched my heart, and I know I’ll be back.